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We’ve been married only a short time, but I’m already beginning to feel that I have ended up with the wrong person

In our series “Q & A with Masters”, we are bringing one another important question that a spiritual person and a business man at same time may face this situation in his life. Paramhamsa Nithyananda, an enlighten master from India answers this question.

Question from a Devotee:

Eric, Australia:  We’ve been married only a short time, but I’m already beginning to feel that I’ve made a mistake. As a matter of fact, I’m afraid I ended up with the wrong person. What do I do now?

Eric, first thing. Changing the person is not going to work for you. If you ask this same question to me before the marriage, my answer would have been different. I would have said – alright, this is not the right person for you, escape. But, now as you already committed, I will recommend you trying to change you, because all your patterns, concepts, ideas – that only makes the other person look wrong. Your fantasies only makes the other person look wrong. It is time you understand and alter your patterns. Look into the depths of your being and transform you. Eric, I feel the fear you are having now shows the love has come down, the love has reduced.

Now it is time for you to work and develop that trust which is beyond love and transform you. Please understand, when you marry, first one year enjoy the romance. From the second year, use that whole thing for enlightenment. Once the honeymoon is over, now start the process of enlightenment, transforming yourself. When God understood he cannot be continuously available to everybody in the form of Guru, he created the system for everybody to evolve, that is marriage!

So Eric, I’ll only recommend transformation from your side than changing the person. I might have suggested the change if you have asked before marriage. But, marriage is such a sacred institution. When you commit, after that, the only possibility should be your transformation. Other than that, all other doors should be closed.  You should not even think of any other doors.

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